Marital Problems
That Are Caused By Anger
Authored by William G. DeFoore, Ph.D.
Many marital problems are caused by the unhealthy expression of anger. Couples who don't know how to deal with their anger either grow apart or drive each other away, for example.
You have choices, because you're here. We are going to look at the marriage problems that anger causes, and what you can do about them.
When you heal your anger and learn good communication skills, you will never let the anger get in the way of the love.
By the way, you did get married because of love, right? Of course. Now let's figure out how to keep love alive.
Read on, to start creating the marriage you've always wanted, or get some help with your marriage now.
What Marital Problems Does Anger Cause?
Anger is not a good communicator. It is designed to push the other person away. So, anger always creates distance and difficulty in marriage.
Let's look at some of the other types of problems that can result:
- Unmet expectations in marriage--no one gets married expecting a lot of anger.
- Passive aggressive behavior. This can be even more destructive than openly expressed anger at times. Learn the definition of passive aggressive behavior, so that you will know if this is happening in your relationship.
- The silent treatment is actually a form of anger, and can be very destructive. A lot of people fall into this when they're trying not to show their anger.
- Lack of intimacy. It is pretty hard to be sexually intimate with someone when you are angry, or if they're angry with you.
- Physical abuse, verbal abuse or emotional abuse and in some cases the battered wife syndrome.
- Depression, anxiety and physical illness can also result from anger problems in marriages.
You don't have to be a victim to these marital problems! Follow this relationship advice now, and create the marriage you have always wanted. Also learn about marital problems that can lead to divorce.
What Kind Of Help Can I Find Here?
We offer many types of help for all kinds of relationships on this web site. Our focus here is marriage, so let's focus there.
Here are some of the resources for solving marital problems that you will find here:
- What to do if you're dealing with jealousy in your marriage or intimate relationship. You'll also want to learn about the signs of jealousy, so you can see the "green eyed monster" coming!
- How to identify the early warning signs of alcohol abuse, which is a problem in many marriages.
- Methods and techniques for controlling anger in marriage and all relationships.
- How to raise your self esteem, a major key in creating a healthy, happy marriage that lasts.
- How to build and maintain boundaries and sexual intimacy in marriage, so that the love just grows and grows!
- How to develop a positive attitude in your marriage and all aspects of your life. This helps with everything!
There you have it. All of the resources you need are right here, and all you have to do is use them--because you are the best anger management resource of all!
What Do You Expect From Your Marriage?
Other Important Articles To Help With Marital Problems
How To Create Personal Boundaries--Learn what personal boundaries are, where they come from, and how to creat healthy ones in all of your relationships.
Signs Of Infidelity And What To Do--Learn the warning signs that your partner may be unfaithful, and how to manage your thoughts, feelings and actions as you deal with the fear and doubt.
Overcoming Infidelity In Four Stages--Find out about the stages of emotion, thought processes and actions you will need to consider in your healing and recovery process.
Solving Marriage Problems--Learn about the many different roles we play in marriage, and how you can do your part to make sure they are all healthy. Learn how to be your partner's best friend, while staying true to yourself and your needs.
Are You A Narcissist?--You might be, or you might be in a relationship with one. Either way, you need to learn about this problem, and how we all need self esteem, but narcissism is self esteem out of control.
Want Some
Free Online Help With Your Marriage?
Have A Question Or Story?
Here's your chance to ask Dr. DeFoore about your situation. It can be about your husband, your wife or your marriage. Tell your story with as much detail as possible, and he will give you some free counseling if your story is selected for publication.
Feel free to also review our FAQ page (frequently asked questions), to see if your question has already been answered.
Then, if selected, the results will be a web page on this site that will help others! So, there you go--help and be helped! By the way, you can be anonymous if you choose, but if you include your first name, it's better.
What Other Visitors Have Said
Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...
My Husband Blames Me For Things Not My Fault 
My husband goes to AA. When he is really stressed, he blames me. For instance, he is scheduled for a hernia repair operation tomorrow.
He is supposed …
My Wife vs. My Family
I have been living with my wife for the past 12 years with a heavy heart. She hates my family very much. She even prohibits our children to see my parents. …
Scared Wife Of Suicidal Law Enforcement Officer
This is the first time where I get the courage to really ask for help. My husband and I have been together for 12 years, and have been to counseling, …
Am I Provoking My Angry Husband?
My husband and I have been married for 22 yrs. He is my best friend, provider, and a great father.
However, in the years we've been married I've …
He Believed The Lies About Me More Than He Believed Me
I am a 36 yr old mother of two children. My husband is 15 yrs younger than me. We met at our previous workplace almost three yrs ago. We tried to keep …
My Anger Toward My Cheating, Drug Addict Husband Is Out Of Control
Please help me. I go from extreme depression to anxiety, to rage in dealing with my husband who is a crack addict, steals from me, stole my car, and now …
Married Two Years And Separated
My husband and I got married over 2 years ago. The entire marriage has transformed into an employer to employee relationship and a parent to child relationship …
He Cheated With A 22 Year Old
My husband is 47 and I am 51. We have had two years of hell with health, on my part and money/work problems. I have always been happy in the 11 years together …
My Husband Cannot Control His Anger
I married a man who has amazing qualities and anger was not one of them! He is smart, fun, and very successful with work. People always comment on how …
I Turned The Heat On
My husband woke up this morning, before the alarm clock went off, and went into the other room and turned off the heater. It's the beginning of springtime, …
Bad Wife Syndrome
I have marriage affirmations that I use everyday. I listen to marriage recordings with my husband, and I pray about my marriage everyday. With all of …
Divorce Getting Older by the Minute after 4 1/2 years
I have been married for almost 34 years and counting. My husband and I have been separated since August 18, 2005. I have spent $70,000 to try to divorce …
Unresolved Anger
I'm angry at my husband for the lack of compassion he has shown me and for the lack of understand of my feelings. I feel he has used me for his own gain. …
Why Shouldn't I Be Angry?
I found out my husband of 12 years was busy loving someone else over a year ago. When I confronted him he told me it was none of my business and that …
Anger At My Daughter And Husband
My name is Misty. I am 21 years old. I found out I have anger issues a few weeks ago. I also have a baby girl who is one year of age and a 4 year old daughter …
My Husband's Anger Is Ruining Us
My husband is a great man, loving, caring, etc. He started becoming angry and having depression about five years ago and today it is totally out of control. …
My Anger Problem
I am 32 years old and got into trouble with law all because of my anger. I was hiding my anger with alcohol until I blew up one day on my husband. I would …
Nine Years Of The Same Problems & Now I Am Passive Aggressive Not rated yet
I have been married for nine years and have 2 boys one step son and a biological. Through the years I have tried to talk out problems and try to work …
Had Family Push Me About My Wife, Then When She Got Home, I Yelled At Her Not rated yet
Well my story goes like this. I have been married to the love of my life for about 5 years now and over the course of these 5 years, we have had one …
He Claims He's Christian, But A Tape Recorder In Our Home Would Show Different Not rated yet
Hi - My name is Victoria and I've known for quite a while that I've been in a verbally abusive marriage. We've been married for 20 years now and my husband …
Angry Outbursts In An Otherwise Wonderful Life Not rated yet
Hi Dr. DeFoore. I am a 40 year old, professional woman who has been having angry outbursts about once a week with the man I have been dating for over a …
Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Not rated yet
I have no idea what to do here. I met my husband about 4 years ago - and it was a fairy tale. He saved my life by getting me out of a horrible life and …
No One Else Knows About My Husband's Anger Not rated yet
My husband's behavior has gotten so uncontrollable towards me I now recognize I am void of any feelings. He rages, yells, swears, insults me and rationalizes …
Stupid Me! Not rated yet
To make my extremely long story short, my husband and I have had a lot of physical confrontations. He never beat me.
We are both 34 and have been married …
Trying To Leave My Husband After 15 Years Not rated yet
I've been married for 15 years, we have a 14 year old son.
Before we were married, he questioned me extensively about my past relationships. he did …
My Wife Is Angry With Me Because Of My Mother And Doesn't Have Sex With Me Not rated yet
I am a 30 year old Indian man. We have a daughter of 2 years. My wife is not happy with me as I am keen to keep my mother with me.
She does not talk …
My Wife Is An Angry Woman And Child Not rated yet
Married for 28 yrs, but every week of the 28 yrs there has been an argument for all the stupid reasons. She cannot talk softly, she only screams and shout/yells. …
I Don't Know What's Wrong With Me Not rated yet
I am a 35 year old male, currently separated from my wife and her children who I love as my own. We have been married the past 5 years.
I never saw …
Why I Hit My Husband Not rated yet
My husband is a pilot. He cheated on me so many times.
We had an arranged marriage 23 years ago. I found a lot of things. 14 years ago, the kids were …
Out Of Control Anger At The Mall Not rated yet
So I'm at the mall with my wife and we were shopping for a gift for my niece. I wanted to get a gift card to a store she likes and be done with it. My …
My Husband Has Narcissistic Rages And Apologizes Over And Over Again Not rated yet
Dear Dr. DeFoore,
My husband has been diagnosed with narcissistic tendencies, no one knows how extreme it gets as he goes in and out of counseling. …
In Abusive Relationship For 9 Years Not rated yet
Hi Dr. My name is Catherine, I have been married for 11 years now. My first 2 years of marriage were good ones. Since I got pregnant with my second born …
I Can't Take It Any More Not rated yet
I am a married man, I am out of town all week for work. My younger wife and my job is pushing me beyond my level of control.
With these days like they …
Be Careful Who You Squirt Not rated yet
My name is Mike. You might have read my story, entitled "30 Seconds and Everything Changes."
Well my life has turned completly sideways. It was about …
My Husband Fell In Love With Another Woman While He Was Away From Home Not rated yet
We regularly chat because my husband's in other country. He always say he loves me. But, while chatting with me, he fell in love with another woman, whom …
Why Is It Always Me That Does Everything Wrong? Not rated yet
Okay, today my mother-in-law woke us up when we (my husband and I) were laying in bed and not ready to get up yet. That is the first thing that pissed …
How Do I Let Go Of This Relationship? Not rated yet
Hi, well my story is very long so please bear with me. I am 26 yrs old, I married my high school sweetheart when I was 21 yrs old, at first everything …
Resentful Toward Family Members Not rated yet
Hello Dr. DeFoore,
Bio: Married 48 yr. Female/recently retired from x-ray. Completing masters of psychology. 2 children. Middle child of two brothers. …
Married To A Paranoid Narcissist Not rated yet
Married for 47 years with 3 children, 6 grandchildren, I find I cannot bear my husband's behaviour any longer. He does not want me to leave him, or buy …
My Communication And My Husband's Anger Not rated yet
Dear Dr. DeFoore,
My husband and I have been together for 7 years and married for almost 1 year now. He had a very difficult childhood, growing up in …
My Husband Is So Angry At The World Not rated yet
I want to know how to help my husband. He is angry about everything. He seems to deal with every emotion by getting mad.
It runs the gamut--from constantly …
From Irritation To Love Not rated yet
We had a fight. For some reason the good and beautiful things in our marriage are not in the forefront of our marriage. I don't mean to ignore the not …
Can't Walk Away Not rated yet
I have recently started to try to better control my anger so that I can be a better husband and father. I have had some anger management help in the past …
What Life Gives You Not rated yet
My name is Anu. I am in my 20's, and I have had a few relationships that have not worked out well. I got married when I was 18, and now I have a baby girl. …
My Husband's Anger Not rated yet
My husband has terrible anger issues. I never know what's going to set him off. When one of the dogs does something wrong he will beat them. When he …
Pushed To The Brink Not rated yet
My husband and I have been married for 8 years and have 3 kids. During this time, he repeatedly does things that make me angry. I will come home from a …
Learning To Deal So I Can Be A Good Wife And Mom Not rated yet
Hi. I know that I have anger issues and I think I know why, but I do not know how to prevent it. My husband and I really want to get pregnant, but we both …
Just Can't Lose My Family Because Of My Anger Not rated yet
I've been married for nine years. My wife requested a week long break from me. She says it is largely due to my anger issues. I admit I do blow up at my …
Walk Away Not rated yet
Hi there. My husband and I have been together for 10 years. I have eaten, lived and breathed his anger tantrums. And have gotten use to them. Now don't …
Words And Actions Can Heal, But They Can Also Hurt Deeply Not rated yet
My wife is 11 years older than I am. I am now 48 and we have been married for 3 years. Even when she was still my girlfriend she found she had to deal …
I Need A Break From The Anger Not rated yet
Me and my husband got into a really huge fight tonight. Its our usual. Except this time we actually fought with our hands and our feet. (And finger nails!) …
- Home
- Marriage Problems
We receive commissions on Amazon sales on this website.
Subscribe To The Newsletter
And Get A Free Ebook!
Recent Articles
-
Are We Too Damaged?
Aug 15, 24 05:57 PM
My husband and I have been together for 12 years (married for 9 months). We were friends in high school and got together our senior year and have been -
Goodfinding Workshop June 30th!
Jun 19, 24 05:28 PM
Online or in person! Take a deep dive into the amazing realms of your brilliant mind and emotional body. You will discover road maps through the sometimes baffling world of your mental and emotional p… -
Alone Anger
Jun 01, 24 05:00 PM
Since my dad’s passing 10 years ago my family has done nothing but fall apart. I am a middle child and have 2 brothers. I’m the only female. My entire
New! Comments
Have your say about what you just read! Leave me a comment in the box below.