Two Faced

by Sarah
(Lincon)

Okay, so my sister-in-law is cheating on my brother who is in jail. I hate her. If I tell my brother than he will just be real angry and real hurt about it. He really believes that his girl is good.

He loves her, but he doesn't really know her. I have anger because here I am seeing all of this and I can't do anything about it. I talk to my stupid sister-in-law, but she knows I will not tell my brother so she really doesn't care.

What should I do? Do I hurt my brother who is already going through so much? The one thing in his life that he loves and is happy with is his so-called wife.

His wife lives with my parents until my brother gets out and finds a job and finds a way to support his 1 year and 5 months old baby boy.

I am living with anger in my heart because this girl has a baby and acts like a 13 year old. She doesn't know anything about anything. She is just plain stupid.


My brother is deeply in love with her. She lies to my parents all of the time. She says "I have to go get milk for my baby" all of the time. I know she is lying--or at least I think she is.

Should I be angry? Is she wrong? Am I wrong?

She is a drop out of high school, what else can I say about her. She is still boy crazy. She lies all of the time.

She is beautiful so the boys do give her all their attention.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Sarah, and thanks for telling your story here. I know it must be very painful for you to believe your sister in law is cheating on your brother, whom you love.

What I am going to recommend is simply my opinion. You have to do what feels right to you.

I recommend you remove yourself psychologically and emotionally from their marriage. Let your brother have his wife, just as she is. It's not your job to save him from her bad behavior.

If you told him, it could make him angry at you. You never know how people will respond to these kinds of things. It is really their business.

You may have to distance yourself, so that you're not around the situation as much. Focus on creating a good life for yourself, so that you're not so protective of your brother. Use the positive journaling exercises on this page, and focus on what is good in your life.

Remember, hatred hurts the hater--and you don't want to hurt yourself. You're a good person, and that's why you asked for help here.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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