My Ex-husband Is Playing With My Emotions And My Patience

by Latoya
(Ohio)

My to-be ex-husband is using my kids against me. He has been telling my kids that I have hit him and now my eleven year old and my seven year old are repeating this.

I have been told that they have reported this to children services. My son has a history of lying like his father. I am so angry at this man. I hate everything about him. At times I wish that he would die in his sleep.


I am trying to cope with my anger because as of June this year it cost me to be put in jail for domestic violence against this tall obese jerk. I am smaller than him and I apparently put a scratch on him and he then called the police on me. I have lost my kids temporarly to this idiot and now I have to pay child support to him.

I am contemplating signing over my rights and moving the hell on with my life. I figure if my kids want to talk to me than they will when they get older. I am tired of the lies that he has been feeding my kids. His family is nothing but a bunch of losers that always want others to feel sorry for them. I get so angry that I want to act on it, but I know that if I do then I will be the one to lose it all, like my kids and my freedom.

I am trying to reach out to get help to cope with being so angry. I need a way to cope with this before I do something that I will really regret in the future.



Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Latoya, and thanks for telling your story here. It's good that you're trying to get help with your anger. Regardless of what you think of your husband or your kids, you're totally responsible for your anger and how you express it. So, I will try to help you deal with your anger so that you don't lose your children and your freedom.

I can tell you're really "on the edge." It is extremely important that you follow my recommendations, even though it won't be easy or comfortable for you. It's better than jail and losing your children.

Start by telling your story (for no one's eyes but yours), as described on this page. I'm sure you have a lot of pain in your past, which is probably the deepest cause of your anger. That page also has anger journaling, which you can use as a daily "release valve." This will help you to calm down, but you have to do it every day, perhaps several times a day, until you start feeling more calm.

Use these imagery processes for emotional healing to resolve past trauma. This is the beginning of learning to love and care for yourself emotionally.

Use the positive journaling process described on the journaling page above, to begin shifting your focus to the good things in your life--the things you don't want to lose. The more you value your life, your freedom and your relationships, the better care you will take of them. This positive focusing will help you to value these good things more--including the goodness in you.

You can do this, Latoya. Set your mind and your good heart to it. Make up your mind to be the good person you know you are inside.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

P.S. If you got something of value here, We would also greatly appreciate it if you would provide a written testimonial about the site, Dr. DeFoore's help, or one of our products.