My Anger Is In The Driver's Seat And It Keeps Getting Worse

by J.
(UK)

I'm 15 years old and at my final year of school. I've dealt with enough bullying through the years but kept going. I had brief counselling about it and was fine.

It only really started 2 years ago when I stood up for myself, I got so angry I no longer knew what I was doing. Once I calmed down I felt very weak and shaky, also the majority of witnesses was just staring, judging.


It was awful because I didn't know what I actually did and the impact it had. I haven't hurt anyone yet (thank goodness) but I get close to it. I pick anything up around me. Books, my shoes even a chair.

I don't want to result in doing some serious damage to a person or my reputation at school. I need to understand how to control it but I can't.

My friends always tell me that I don't have to stand up for them, but no one else will. And when that happens the same thing with anger happens. I don't know what I'm doing, even talking to certain people gets my blood boiling. I feel the energy rise inside me and that's when I know it's going to happen soon.

I try to calm it down with my breathing or stopping the situation, but it never works. Before I know it I no longer have control of my actions.

It's as if I'm in the passenger seat, and someone else is driving. It's scary because when I'm back I have no recollection. I just need help. Please.



Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello J, and thanks for telling your story here. I can tell that you're very bright, and a good person. I also respect your writing ability, and the clarity with which you express yourself. I will try to help.

First of all, you need to learn to see, understand and honor your anger. While I know it has become a problem for you, its original purpose is to protect you and those you stand up for. I have developed a detailed process that will help you get to know, understand and heal your anger so that it becomes a healthy and powerful ally to you, no longer a problem.

Please read through and follow all of the recommendations on this FAQ page. These are powerful tools, J, and if you use them you will definitely see improvement.

Ultimately, your anger will become a kind of warrior that stands by your side...no longer in the driver's seat. And the person in the driver's seat will be you...the smart, caring and strong person that is who you really are.

You can do this, J. Make up your mind to succeed, and you will.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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