It's Just Not Fair!

by Debbie
(Maryland)

Workplace anger--well that is everywhere I have worked. And who pays? Me! Not the tormentors or judgemental snobs. No, I am the one unable to sustain employment due to unfair treatment. What is so wrong with being quiet or taking your time to get to know or get involved with people? I feel showing up and keeping on task and doing your best should be good enough. But the message nowadays is, "Do More, be more!"

What happened to individualism in this country? Why do you have to be like everyone else...sit at one table, eat the same food. The workplace has become a virtual battleground and I am usually the one that has that task to attend to alone. The more I say to defend myself, the more comes back and I have even learned to say it more calmly than before. I have lost my self esteem, freedom of speech, and passion.

My energy level has plummeted and I am no longer looking forward to the future. What future? I look forward only to a secluded and simple life. People are just too damn difficult and when they group together and gang up on you, then no matter how you handle it, you are the bad person--because you are yourself and not a clique. Eventually they work you out or force you out.





Response from Dr. DeFoore

Thank you for your contribution, Debbie. You have every right to your feelings and your individuality. But as you have learned, they will not always be respected by others. You have every right to do things your way and stay to yourself and mind your own business. But as you've learned, companies will sometimes not support that kind of behavior. It makes it hard for someone like you who just likes to be left alone to do her job.

Solitude can be a very good thing, and some people don't get enough of it. And some get too much. I caution you against too much isolation. It can cause a person to decline in their mental, emotional and physical health. We need each other in this world, but we need each other to be supportive, not critical.

Turn to those relationships where you feel understood and appreciated for who you are. You are a good person, and you are unique. You don't have to be like anybody else. Perhaps you can find a job where you work alone, or have the independence you're looking for.

All the best to you,

Dr. DeFoore