Intermittent Angry Husband

by Anonymous

My husband is generally a good man. He is 44 and we have been together 19 years and through this time he has had to have anger management counseling after our first 7 years together.


His father and his grandmother were real control freaks and he had a difficult relationship with his father. He died a year ago now and my husband really feels his loss even though they didn't have a great relationship.

I know my husband has low self esteem sometimes and often lacks confidence, but he is a successful business man and we have two boys aged 8 and 14. After reading your anger management test I truly believe he has issues. He can go from a 3 to 9 in the space of minutes and is often at a 3. But he has a monthly problem where he has no patience and is always swearing and losing it with the kids, especially the 14 year old.

His language is terrible. He doesn't do it to me much now as I do stand up to him and put him in his place, but its not easy for my kids to do the same. Sometimes I hate them going anywhere with him alone in case he starts on them and I feel guilty for not being there to defend them and protect them.

He agrees he needs some help but doesn't want to go anywhere but said he would be happy to use cd's as a self help.

95% of the time he is great, but he doesn't do any type of stress at all and of course kids can cause some stress. He doesn't deal with disappointments. He takes it personally and he can't deal with cars or things breaking down. It sends him off the scale.

His anger gets to a point of I think a red mist and he breaks things and verbally abuses the family to a point of me hating him.
My 14 year old is now starting to break things in anger and has a problem controlling his anger when he feeling very hormonal.

I hope you can suggest some cds that might help my husband and my son. Any help would be so appreciated.




Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Michaela, and thanks for telling your story here. I think it's great that your husband is willing to admit he has a problem, and that he's willing to work on it. It's also great that you care so much about him and about your family.

I recommend that he get the following CD program: Anger Management Techniques.

To help him with your children, I highly recommend the audio program below. Just click on the image, and listen to free previews right away.

These CD programs will help him to heal and manage his anger, and learn better skills for dealing with your children and his role as a father.

I also suggest that you read this FAQ page, which will help you in your relationship with your husband.

I hope this helps.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore