I'm A Young Mother And I Just Don't Know What To Do Any More

by Anonymous
(NJ, USA)

Well I'm a 23 yr old female, and a mother of a 4 yr old son. Since I was younger I have always had a problem controlling my anger.

I started noticing that the more angry I got I would start to blackout. Since then this has been a normal part of my life, something I'm embarrassed of and still have not a clue on how to fix this.


I get angry extremely easy and I can literally feel it build inside me until I release it. That's where I blackout and I either hit someone, a wall, tree, or anything hard, or punch/scratch my face or bite my hands and arms until I feel the anger start to suppress.

It scares me getting to that point, and recently it has been a lot. I have been through numerous pairs of sunglasses, cell phones, and car windshields because of this. I have heard the counting, and breathing, and what not exercises a thousand times and that too irritates me.

I'm in need of real advice, help or anything I can get to make this finally stop. I want to be able to let little things go, and just feel normal.



Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. I can tell you're really ready to get some help with this. That's good. The more motivated you are, the better I can help you.

I will recommend some steps to take, and if you give them your very best effort, I think you'll start to feel some benefit--maybe a lot. Read and follow all of the guidelines on this FAQ page. These are powerful tools, but they only work if you use them. Like any tools, they work better for you the more you use them.

As you do this, consider why you want to change. This anger is not who you are. It's how you act sometimes, but it's not who you are and it's not what you want. There's a story behind your anger, and it needs to be told. If you don't explore the story (or stories) behind your anger, it will keep being a problem for you.

Your anger sounds like it is in an addictive cycle. Read here about anger and rage addiction, and you'll find that helpful as well.

Believe in yourself and the quiet goodness in your heart. That's where your healing will come from.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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