I'm 16 And I Need To Move Out Of My Parents' Home

by Makayla

I'm just a girl who doesn't get along with my parents. It started when I was thirteen years old and now I'm sixteen.

My parents and I don't get along because I get blamed for literally everything. I'm the middle child, I have two siblings. My oldest sibling is twenty-four and my youngest is thirteen. My parents get along with them very well.

My brother who is the oldest doesn't live with us anymore and he does as he pleases but they have really never had a problem with him expect maybe one time when my dad choked him out and got sent to jail for being abusive.

I think it might be my parents’ fault and how they think things should be done. That's not how you parent. My mom curses at me all the time and she's tried to hit me before.

She smokes marijuana so I don't know if that's part of the problem with our relationship but every time she loses or misplaces money she instantly blames it on me. She calls me a "fucking bitch" and other worse things.

I can only take so much and my dad just agrees with her. They're horrible parents. I can't stand to live here anymore but I'm only sixteen and can't legally move out but I have nowhere to go because my family doesn't really care about me. Like none of them.

They've told me to get out of their house before and I would if I had the chance because I'm a strong girl and I could definitely do it, I just have nowhere to go.

What should I do? I can't continue to live here. For one thing, their house is really dirty. They never clean and get angry when I try to clean and they say I don't clean right. I'm so done with this. My parent and me are nothing alike. I don't know what to do anymore.

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Aug 14, 2015
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Pretty Soon You Can!
by: Tony

Hi Mikala,
It won't be long before you can move out. Use all your energy planning, visualizing and being good to yourself - by doing the best you can in the important things that will give you financial freedom from your parents: school, a temporary job, look for scholarships, volunteer at places that interest you and to open doors to your improving life.

Don't squabble or fret over their behaviour, you can't control them. Avoid conflict, it is only a temporary situation, focus on you and your future.

It is not easy looking after yourself on a small income. First jobs don't usually pay a lot. Find the job that helps you the most right now as you are planning your future. You will probably need roommates to afford a place to live - keep the relationships with them simple so you don't have an unnecessary conflict and find yourself in a stressful living environment.

Do the best you can for yourself and know that soon you will be able to move out when you are ready. Be kind to others and be the kind of friend you would like to have. Good hearts will flock together and you will find support through friendship.
Good luck and don't forget to enjoy the adventure. One day you will be very proud of how you made it on your own and the friends you made along the way.
Best Wishes,
Tony (I was once in a similar spot and now I have two beautiful daughters of my own)

Jun 01, 2015
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You Will Find A Way
by: Dr. DeFoore

Hi Makayla

You sound like a very bright, responsible girl. It is not unusual for some families to have a "scapegoat," which is a family member that gets picked on and blamed. It's a hard role to be in, to say the least. This might be your situation.

I encourage you to do your best to focus on yourself, and not your family members. Make up your mind to be the finest young adult you can possibly be, concentrate on doing well in school, and stay out of trouble.

Start planning now for ways to get a job to support yourself, or perhaps a scholarship to go to a college, if that's a possibility. You need to believe in yourself, and set your intention to create a good life for yourself, regardless of what your family members may or may not be doing.

I don't know of any types of alternative living situations you could find. The only exception would be if you were being abused, and could show evidence of the abuse, which does not sound like the case for you.

Focus on what is good, right and working about yourself and your life. I know it's bad in many ways, but it's not all bad. You will gain energy and strength from always focusing on what you've got going for you, instead of losing energy because of the bad things going on.

I hope this helps, Makayla.

My best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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