by Tina
(Sterling Heights, MI, USA)
I was so angry at my husband earlier today. I was talking to him (nagging him), and he walked away and said F*** this. I then walked up to his van and socked him in the face. As I sit here crying all I can think is what has our life come to?
I keep seeking his attention and all he does is work, which is good, but at the same time right now he has not been acting like himself. We used to go out to dinner & have a good time together.
I am 4 months pregnant and it seems like he wants nothing to do with me besides have sex & that's exactly what I don't want. I asked him out to dinner the other night and he said he didn't feel like going out. So I came home and made him a nice dinner & after he showered he came out all dressed up & informed me that he was going out with his friends. As I sit here and silently cry, I am looking at my little girl and feeling so bad!
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello Tina, and thanks for telling your story here. What is missing for you is your ability to take care of yourself emotionally. Your pattern of seeking his attention and trying to please him is feeding into your feelings of rejection and anger. I will try to help.
I suggest that first you read the following pages on relationships, where you will learn some skills for putting yourself first and no longer giving your power away to another person:
dealing with marital problems
couples communication skills
I think you will really benefit from learning more about nurturing your inner child. This is the basis of self love, which is exactly what you need.
Your husband will either show up and do the right thing or not. If you learn to love and feel good about yourself, it increases the chance that he will be more loving and loyal to you.
Believe in yourself, Tina. You are worthy of love and happiness.
My very best to you,
Dr. DeFoore
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