I Have An Ill Spouse And Need Help

by Anonymous

My wife has Parkinson's, no longer works, has many emotional & psychological issues, such as depression.

Due to monetary stress from her illness I am under tremendous stress & have become angry with her & will yell at her. I am also upset with her for not having any life insurance or long term care insurance.


I asked her to transfer the home to just my name, & do an amicable divorce to save my assets & she refuses. Most evenings she demands to go to the ER or will call 911 or the police.

She says I will pay if not taken. All the ER does is sedate her & tell me to take her home. I do not abuse her physically but find it very hard to control my temper & will yell at her. She also refuses to move to a nursing home & gave her sister POA.



Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. This is a sad and difficult situation, for both you and your wife. The best I can do to help is to offer you some ways to make sure your anger is healthy, and help you manage it better. As it is now, your anger is only making a bad situation worse.

Read and follow the guidelines on this FAQ page. This is an involved process, but if you truly want your situation to improve, you will be willing to do this work.

It will also help you to read the following page on relationships:

relationship advice

It will really help you to begin shifting your focus in a more positive direction, also. While your current focus and emotions are totally understandable, you can certainly handle things better by taking a more compassionate and wise approach. Use the journaling exercises on this page to help with that.

Focus on the best in yourself and your wife, and try to take the next best step, one after another.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore