I Am Angry As Hell And Acting Like My Mother And Grandmother

by Lisa
(USA)

I am angry as hell. Over the last 3 years all hell has broken loose. The company I had worked for over 10 years shut down leaving me going to another company that shut down after 1 year.


My mother got breast cancer (she had a mastectomy and is fine now), my grandfather died, and I was married to a jerk. I lived in a wonderful house that the jerk took in the divorce after claiming zero income and trying to get me to pay him alimony.

I met my new husband through my Mother and we connected right away. We are now married. I love him but he drives me crazy. Bottom line I slapped him in the face this morning. I know this is abusive and I never want to do this ever again. I can sit here all day long and tell you that he likes to push my buttons and that is why slapped him in the face but I know this was wrong and I shouldn’t have done it!

Now I have to look at myself and see if I have a huge anger problem and I need to make sure this never happens again. When I slapped him my adrenalin was pumping so hard I was actually shaking. I instantly felt guilty and wanted to make it better but I know I couldn’t.

When I was a child my mother and grandmother used to slap me in the face and it happened several times. I hated it and finally defended myself and they never slapped me again. I don’t want to be like them with my husband. I need help!




Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Lisa, and thanks for telling your story here. You don't have to be like anybody. You can be more like the good person inside, that you really are, every day. I will help you go in that direction.

First, I suggest that you use the exercises on this FAQ page to help you let go of your mother and grandmother (just use the same steps with your grandmother that you do with your mother and father). Then I suggest that you use these tools to understand and heal your anger.

These methods work, Lisa, if you use them seriously and consistently. I think you've got what it takes to do this. You sound like a smart, strong woman, and if you set your heart and mind to being the best person you choose to be, you can do it.

Believe in yourself, set your sites on what you want and go for it.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore