I Am Angry And Break Relationships With Family And Friends

by Sammy
(Maseru, Lesotho)

I have grown up outside my family and been raised by relatives all of my childhood. I have experienced all kinds of bad treatment and occasionally good, but I have been deprived of parental love most of my childhood.

Now I have a serious problem with all my relationships with friends and family. I used to bottle my anger and never confronted people about things they did that made me angry nor did I confide in anyone to make me feel better about my hurt.


It came to a point where I couldn't contain my anger anymore. Now I lash out to people who drive me mad, I always try to get even and even plot on hurting anybody that hurts me.

I have pushed a lot of people away by simply withdrawing from them and acting cold and hostile towards them if they do something to make me angry. I have managed to push my family away...they all fear me because I am very unpredictable and I am about to break my 3 year marriage.

I have a 1 month old baby, and I need to be a good mother to her. I also need my marriage to work out and to have good relations with everybody. I need to be able to control my anger. I need to be able to control the way I view things so that I don't get angry easily. Dr DeFoore please help.





Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Sammy, and thanks for telling your story here. I think you are a good person, and it seems to me like you're highly motivated to improve. I will try to help.

First, I recommend that you do all of the exercises on this FAQ page. This will help you understand and heal your anger, and it will also give you some anger management tools. Take this very seriously, Sammy, and practice these tools. The more you use them, the better they will work for you.

I think you will also benefit greatly from our audio CD program on nurturing your inner child. I encourage you to get the CD, or download the audio, and listen regularly. This program is perfectly designed for someone in your circumstances, whose childhood needs were not met.

If you feel you need more help with this, and/or have trouble with the exercises, you can enroll in one of the online anger management classes.

One way or another, make up your mind to reach your goals, and don't give up. You will succeed.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore