Anger Escalation With My Fiance

by Melody
(Saratoga Springs UT)

I'm trying to find a job to help with bills for my fiance. He gets mad when I get an interview at Sizzlers just cause it's 8 dollars an hour.

And he doesn't think I'll have time for him to help him test. I got so angry and blew up in his face. I told him just because I get an interview doesn't mean that I won't have time for you.


Then he says but you have a job at teleperformance why can't you just do that? I then say because my training doesn't start for another month and a half. I don't want to just sit around and wait. I want to start earning an income--is that so wrong?

It escalates further, to where I tell him I'm not going to speak to him any more, and then he compares me to his angry-all-the-time-mother that we live with.

And that really got me angry. I then took off my ring and told him that when he thinks that I'm a better fiance, that I will then put the ring back on my finger. I also said who knows maybe I'm saving you the heartache.

He then walks upstairs without a word and sleeps up there. What do I do? We are constantly fighting over little things.

I don't know what to do anymore.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Melody, and thanks for telling your story here. I think you're wise to postpone getting married at this time. What you're describing could just get worse after marriage, and you certainly don't want that.

Start by working on your own anger as suggested on this FAQ page. See if your fiance will use the same tools to work on his. If he will, that's great...if not, that tells you something important about him.

If you want more indepth help with your anger, consider signing up for one of these online anger management classes,

Believe in yourself, Sylvia. You are worthy of respect, independence, and happy loving relationships.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

P.S. If you found this to be helpful, please consider making a donation to this site to support our mission to help you become your own best anger management resource.