Who Is The Real Bully?

by Uzma
(Pakistan, Lahore)

My son is in grade 7 studying in a very good school. He is labelled as rude, abusive, disobedient, violent and a student with low intellectual ability.

As a mother, I know he takes some time to understand a new concept but he is really hardworking. He is new in this school but kids are calling him names, teasing him for his dark complexion and nobody wants to sit with him.


When frustrated after getting no response from school, he gets really angry and starts having fights with a few of his class fellows. He has been suspended from school thrice for two days. A very bad habit that he has acquired in this situation is that he has started telling lies also.

The teachers are not showing any respect to his feelings and would always blame him for everything. So he continues to be even more silly, disruptive and disobedient. One of the psychiatrists advised him to take 3 to 4 drops of medicine daily before retiring.

I am not giving him the medicine after reading its side effects on kids. Please help me in improving his behaviour and do tell me who the real bully is.



Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Uzma, and thanks for telling your story here. I cannot tell from what you've written here whether your son is a bully, or whether he's being bullied by other kids at his school. It sounds like it might be a little of both.

I recommend that you read the following page on parenting and helping adolescents like your son with the types of problems he's having: parenting teenagers with anger problems.

Your challenge, Uzma, is to educate yourself about this problem, and make up your mind that you're going to be the best mother you can possibly be.

Believe in yourself, and believe in the goodness in your son.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore