What Is Wrong With Me, I'm Irritated And Annoyed With Everyone

by Erin
(KY)

I'm a senior in high school. Freshman year, I was very active, had a lot of energy, lots of friends, and was always happy. This is a huge contrast to how I am these days. Now, I am never happy.

I am content to be alone. I am happy by myself and when anyone talks to me, I am immediately irritated and annoyed. This is with everyone- my mom, my friends, everyone. It happens even with a little question.

I am also always tired. I get home from school and just want to sleep for the rest of the day, but I can't because I have a job(that I don't like because I find it annoying as well). Everything in my life overwhelms me and I feel like I never have the time I need. I'm also very emotional during TV shows and movies, but I don't show my feelings or talk about them to anyone.

I cry at least once a day to myself because I am so stressed out by everything and everyone. I want to change but I can't. This isn't the way people are supposed to feel on a daily basis. Life seems more like a job than fun to me. I hate the fact that I'm so mean to the people that I'm supposed to love and be close with. I want energy again. What's wrong with me?

Learn To Love Yourself

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Erin, and thanks for telling your story here. I'm not going to talk about what's wrong with you, because I feel certain that your feelings and reactions are there for a very good reason. You need to find out what those reasons are, and following my recommendations, you will start to feel better. And you will be better able to act like the good person you truly are.

Start with the exercises on this FAQ page. Take them seriously, and do them all as directed, and you will get some good results.

Your emotions are surfacing as a part of your healing process. You have apparently been wounded in the past, and if you don't work on those old wounds, they will work on you--all as a part of your brilliant mind's effort to heal your body, mind and emotions.

And I think doing this work will also help you to have more energy.

Believe in yourself, Erin. You can do this.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

P.S. If you found this to be helpful, please consider making a donation to this site to support our mission to help you become your own best anger management resource.

P.P.S. If you got something of value here, we would also greatly appreciate it if you would click the "Like" button at the top left corner of this page.

Comments for What Is Wrong With Me, I'm Irritated And Annoyed With Everyone

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Jul 21, 2019
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Embrace It
by: Anonymous

"This isn't the way people are supposed to feel on a daily basis."

This quote by the questioner, Erin, is the source of the problem. There is no "supposed to feel". There is only the truth of how you feel.

The first step is actually re-languaging, which shifts the brain.

I suggest, "I feel this way. I embrace this. I explore it. And I am ready to start the journey to feel something different. I seek this."

Can you feel the difference in stating this?

Own and allow your internal experience. It is annoying to be around others if you are gauging your internal experience on your perception of that which is external to you. Aka, these people. And moreover, some of those people may actually be annoying! So don't put it all on yourself.

Even when you feel happy and balanced, people still can "annoy" you. The difference is, it doesn’t trigger you, collapse you, or put you into a "state". It only serves to make you take action. For instance, you will say, I need to excuse myself and walk away from this person. No drama. You just act for the good of yourself.

If "everyone" is annoying you, it is the sign saying, "I am ready to turn inward and explore me." So do that.

And know this:

It is perfectly acceptable to be alone. How are you going to turn inward if you are not?

It is perfectly acceptable to cry every day. Who said you cannot let emotions flow naturally?

It is perfectly acceptable to see traits in people that you dislike. Go inward when you see this. What is it I hate? How do I feel? What is the quality of this experience?

Be curious. Learn about yourself.

You cannot maintain a "state" of an emotion unless you are frozen. Most people ebb and flow gently, like water. No change means you are frozen. Erratic, extreme, triggered change means you are out harmony and balance.

I suggest the mantra "I allow."

When you feel annoyed, take a breath and say, "I allow".

I allow my feelings to flow and I honor my experience.

There is nothing wrong with you. You are simply a weather pattern in various stages of formation and expression.

May God Bless!

Aug 17, 2018
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To LBK -response
by: Dr. DeFoore

Hi - I respect the thought you're putting into this.

I want you to consider something, in regard to your feelings about your parents. You said they act as if they know everything, so they are not your role models.

I know what you mean, since we usually think of role models as the people we choose to emulate, and you don't emulate them. However, our parents are our early role models, whether we like it or not.

For example, when it comes to your beliefs about other people, does it seem to you that you know everything? Think about it...it sounds that way to me.

I strongly encourage you to read some of the articles on my other website, Goodfinding.com. It is designed for smart people like you, who feel trapped by their own negative view of the world.

Start with this article on emotional intelligence, then read all of the supplemental articles linked at the end of the article.

You have a journey ahead of you, but I have a feeling you're smart enough to make it. Believe it or not, your true nature is based in love and appreciation, but like so many of us, you have wandered quite a ways from that.

And by the way, go for those goals and ideals re. family and a career in science, and don't ever let anything or anyone stand in your way. Don't expect people to make you happy...that won't work. Follow the guidance I'm offering, as a beginning on the journey to create your own happiness...that does work, I assure you.

Failure is not a fact or an occurrence, it's a decision. Decide to succeed, and you will.

My best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

Aug 15, 2018
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I'll Try Journaling
by: Ibk

1. This is your life, and it belongs to no one else. What kind of life do you want?
- This is a huge problem because in all my future scenarios I'm surrounded by a bunch of people who make me happy and vice versa, but how's this possible when you can't stand people?

2. How do you want to feel going forward?
- I always admired independence - so that is my short-term goal.

3. What would you like to accomplish in your life?
- Good and loving wife, kind children and useful job. I think that is enough for my lifetime. (Should I put this is an accomplishment category?)

4. Are you following the example of a role model or parent?
- Not a parent, no. They act as they know everything, which is pretty annoying when you know how much they actually know. Stupid.
But I do have some role models, especially in the field of science.

But this sounds so beautiful and impossible for me all because of my relationships with people, so much so that creates anxiety.

I'm trying to distract myself by daily reading, learning, running, playing games, but it's not working -- More I learn about human psychology and sociology the less I know how to be prepared for the next day.

Aug 15, 2018
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To LBK
by: Dr. DeFoore

Hi, and thanks for your comment. I encourage you to consider some things...

This is your life, and it belongs to no one else. What kind of life do you want? How do you want to feel going forward? What would you like to accomplish in your life?

The answers to those questions have nothing to do with anybody else. If you decide your feelings and your life are because of other people, you'll feel like an unhappy victim for the rest of your life.

If, however, you decide to take the bull by the horns and accept full responsibility for yourself and your feelings, you have a chance to live a fulfilling and enjoyable life.

There is a reason for how you feel. You need to figure out what that is. Are you following the example of a role model or parent? If so, you're living an imitation, not your own life.

I strongly encourage you to do all of the journaling processes on this page, and see if that gets you on track with how you want things to go.

I wish you all the best,

Dr. DeFoore

Aug 15, 2018
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I Guess You're Right
by: LBK

Same here - I'm 29 years old, and I was full of energy in high school. I loved sports, and had a time for everything.

But, as the time passed by, I lost interest in life. Every person I stumble upon feels fake, and I just give up on conversation.

I must admit, I feel like I'm right for feeling this way. I really think that this is not my problem, that this is how a person should behave.

Maybe that's my real problem, after all.

Feb 28, 2018
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To the Author of "On Edge"
by: Dr. DeFoore

Hello, and thanks for offering your comments here.

I don't know what's wrong either. I will offer some suggestions, and maybe you will be able to figure it out.

1) Are you eating regular, healthy meals?

2) Are you drinking excessively?

3) Are you taking any prescription medications that you don't fully understand (re. side effects, for example)?

Those are some basics that could affect your biochemistry and bring about some of the symptoms you're describing.

I also encourage you to do some journaling. You will find the steps described on this page. Please give this a try. I think it really might help you.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

Feb 27, 2018
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On Edge
by: Anonymous

I am a 23 year old mother of 3. The last 7 years I have been going through what feel like a war with myself. Some days I feel on top of the world and others I am dreamlike, locking myself away from the world.

My thoughts always seem to race, I can't sit still for long periods of time I just have to do something, so I turn to cleaning. I get very irritable when my kids or anyone else has anything to say to say to me. I feel hostile sometimes and fatigued even if I get enough sleep, always worrying, and seem to be consumed by all of my emotions.

I don't know how I will feel or think next and it's starting to take a toll on me. I don't know what's wrong.

Jan 19, 2017
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Sorry It's So Long It's Just My Rant
by: Anonymous

I'm a sophomore in high school and just turned 15 (female). I read most of the entries on this website and I relate to basically all of them.

I'm easily annoyed and I really don't know why, I get sad randomly and I snap for stupid reasons. For example, certain noises people make while eating, or if someone asks me a question I feel is dumb or don't want to answer, even breathing noises etc.

I fight with my mom a lot more than I ever used to, no one seems to understand that I don't do it on purpose or anything. They just don't understand period, and my mom just thinks I'm a bitch basically which I guess I can agree with because I sometimes am.

I love being alone in my room just watching tv shows or YouTube for hours, its honestly when I'm the happiest. My mom thinks my anger is because of my age and because I’m growing, I used to just think I had a bad temper, which maybe I do, but I'm really a sincerely nice person, I just have a very low tolerance for just about everything.

I never talk to anyone really about my feelings or personal problems or anything I think about that’s important really. I also only really have one best friend and just some decently close school friends that I feel like I'm losing touch with.

It makes me upset because they seem to be branching out meeting new people and getting closer with each other while I continue to drift further away from the group and am terrible at making new friends and starting and holding conversations.

I used to be decently outgoing and super athletic. I'm still good at sports but my independent and introverted personality has made me lose quite a bit of friends and I don't really know how to deal with it.

I don't really make friends easily and I am absolutely horrible at keeping in touch or answering texts. Usually because I don't have any clue what to talk about or honestly don't feel like talking. Am I just a boring person? I still like sports but found that I have become so much lazier then I used to be and I'm still so young.

My gym teacher even calls me WOT as in waste of talent because I have so much potential when it comes to sports, but don't have the drive I used to in order to pursue them. And when people ask me about that I don't have any explanation that’s valid at least. Anyways that’s the gist of my situation and I'm still pretty lost and confused about it. Any words of wisdom or ideas? Thanks a lot.

Also, is it weird that I'm starting so young with this problem? Everyone else seems to be in their 20's or so and I'm only 15.

From Dr. DeFoore

Hi--There's nothing wrong with you. You're just a unique individual adjusting to being in this incredibly diverse and challenging world.

You're a good writer. I suggest that you do the journaling exercises recommended on this page. Keep doing them on a regular basis, and I think you'll find that you will start feeling better.

I hope this helps.

My best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

Dec 02, 2016
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I Feel The Same
by: Anonymous

I have never wanted to follow up on these feelings but today I just felt fed up. The only thing that calms me down is listening to depressing songs by Radio Head. And I feel so bad being mean to my mom and friends. They are only trying to help, but I just get irritated by everything they say and end up in a fight.

I am 25, and have been feeling this all my life, throughout different periods of my life. Sometimes I just get into bed and feel like that for some hours, listening to depressing music. Then I get up and try to pass through the day with the least possible interaction others.

Then the next day it’s like nothing ever happened.

Mar 20, 2016
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To Cassie
by: Dr. DeFoore

Hi Cassie

A couple of comments for you to consider. When you heal from depression, sometimes anger starts to show up, and that is a sign of improvement. I know you don't like the anger, and that's good. You're a good person, and you don't want to be so irritable.

You will continue to heal, but it will help you to stay focused during the process. Do the exercises on this page, and that will help you to move forward with your growth and recovery from depression and anger.

I can tell you're a smart and loving person, Cassie. When you do those exercises, you will be moving closer to that good person you truly are.

My best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

Mar 19, 2016
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Irritable All The Time!
by: Cassie

I am in agreement with everything on this page! Everyone in my life annoys me. My parents, my boyfriend, the people I work with. I'm only 22 years old and I feel like I'm shielding myself from having a good time because I enjoy being alone.

I have a couple friends, maybe two at the most, and I can only be around them a certain amount of time before I become annoyed and just do not want to talk anymore.

I consider myself a very understanding and loving person. I am not mean and would never say anything hurtful nor have I ever in the past. But I find myself becoming more and more annoyed with the people in my life lately.

Occasionally I'll snap at my boyfriend whenever he chews loudly, continuously talks, or says something that annoys me.

As soon as it comes out of my mouth I immediately regret getting mad and feel terrible. This has happened on several occasions. I have been through depression and I'm sure that it has something to do with my anger, but I do not want to be this way!

My boyfriend is very sweet and as I explained to him he thinks I should talk to a professional. I am considering it, but I was just curious if anyone else feels this way.

Jan 12, 2016
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I Have The Same Feelings But I Don't Know Why
by: Anonymous

I haven't been through any problems. I haven't been hurt or anything. I'm constantly aggravated with people. I like being alone. I hang out with my teachers because I don't like the kids at my school. I sometimes feel really sad and empty And aggravated. But there's no reason to. I have good friends, and an awesome family. I don't know why I feel like this sometimes. I have no reason to but I can't help it.

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