Unsure Of Myself & Blaming Myself For My Husband's Anger

by Sarah
(USA)

This is hard for me because I love my husband very much. But I feel like all I do is make him angry with me. Every time I say something to him he takes it the wrong way and gets mad.

If I congratulate my little girl for going to the bathroom on the big potty instead of her little potty chair I get yelled at. If I try to explain myself to him he feels like I'm arguing with him. He tells me I need to say "ok" or "I understand" so that he doesn't get so angry with me but even if I do that he is still angry. I am always walking on eggshells with him.
I know I'm not perfect. And I wish I was, then I wouldn't make so many mistakes with him. When he is yelling at me and angry with me about something, even with something our daughter did, I feel really unsure of myself. I don't know what to do anymore.

I try and try to do right by him but I never do. I have made him so angry (not meaning to) by trying to give him my opinion or explain why I did a certain thing that he has held my arm tightly and has grabbed for my neck. He didn't hit me or strangle me but kind of shook me.

I don't make enough money to leave and I am scared too because of my daughter, I don't want to lose her plus I am worried about what other people will think of me. People love him and his personality.

Maybe everything I do is wrong and it is my fault. I just don't know anymore. Sometimes I think that everyone would be better off without me in this world because I'm useless and I'm nothing. I don't know any more of what I can do to make things better.