Now She Hits Me

by TN
(Indiana)

My wife and I have been together for 3 years. We have one son, 7 months, and she has a 4 year old daughter I've helped raise and who considers me "dad."

For the first two years, I told uncountable "white lies" to keep peace in the relationship when I could. She has been diagnosed with sexual related PTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder, and anger problems.


She sees the world as either "with" her or "against" her. There is no middle road. She has to be the "boss" of our relationship, often saying she is the "man" of the marriage.

When we fight, she often claims to do all the "work" of making the marriage work. She claims that all I want is for her to "kiss my ass," a complaint she has had previously against many men in her past.

She brings up anything I have done wrong to make me feel guilty in our arguments. She mocks and belittles me in front of friends and family. She has even made up a few scenarios where I was supposedly cheating on her.

I have had to stop her from committing suicide on at least 3 occasions. Yesterday, I didn't wake up to our sick son crying. I am a heavy sleeper, always have been.

The abuse started as soon as she woke me up. It escalated when she shoved me, I shoved back, and then she started hitting and slapping me, 5 or 6 times total.

I didn't hit back. Today was the first time I really believed I was in an abusive relationship. Is there hope for her and our marriage?