My Story Of Grief And Loss, Not Much Different From Yours

by Kimberly
(NC, USA)

Hi, I'm not sure I can tell you that I have a healing story. However, I can express to you "my story of grief," which I am sure that you hear many. And that mine may be no different.

But in reality we all think that our story is unique. I am a therapist. Please allow me a moment to tell you where I am in life.


I lost a husband and a 6 month old son in a car accident. It was days before Halloween, the fun time of year for a child. I got a call one early morning at work to come to the local Hospital, that my husband and son had been in a car accident. Nothing was never mentioned to bring a friend or family member.

When I arrived, I was told that my husband and son had been killed. UMMM...let me tell you that I CAN NOT TELL you what I felt. There aren't any words to express how I felt, the anger the pain, the hurt. It was almost like it was a dream.

Time has passed now, 3 years later. I'm not sure that I have gone through the process. Is there a process? How does one let go? How do we get over the anger, the things we cant change?

Everyone, says through Christ. Well, I do agree, but also as a human being we allow ourselves the pain and hurt. We want the empathy. Well, allow me to express to you that I just want to write a book about where I have been and where I have come from. And if I can overcome all the pain and hurt then anyone can.

I want to reach out to others. Any resources you have to enable me to do this, please help me.

Thank you you for reading my story, and God Bless.



Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Kimberly, and thanks for telling your story here. I am so sorry for your loss. The pain you have been through is unimaginable, and only you can really know what it is like for you. I agree though, we all need empathy.

You asked, is there a process...yes, and you will find it outlined as I best understand it on this page devoted to the grieving process. I suggest you read the entire page, and follow all of the recommended steps.

You want to write about your experience, and that is good. I strongly encourage you to go through the steps of your own grieving first, or at least at the same time as you work on your book. You might try Health Communications, Inc., as they are a self-help publisher that has been known to work with first time authors. You'll find them with a Google search.

Grieving is an act of love. It is the love you felt (and feel) for your husband and son that make the grief so powerful. As you go through the recommended exercises, you will have an opportunity to honor them and your memory by expressing your love. That is how you let go--with love. Only love has the power to let go, and as you point out, your faith is your ultimate strength in this process.

I wish you all the best in your healing and writing.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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