by MC
(Malaysia)
I was in a relationship for about two years since and there were a lot of ups and downs. From the beginning I knew that he was obliged to marry someone else but a part of me was being a fool like any other person who fell in love.
I thought that maybe there was a part of him that will actually do something like calling off the wedding but no, nothing happened. Now, we are together. basically living daily life like a married couple while he's preparing for his wedding in November or probably December.
Stupid of me, I know! I just couldn't retreat. Getting pissed in front of him, swearing and screaming didn't give any effect towards him. It was like nothing happened. A part of me wanted revenge. For him to feel a little bit pain of what I'm dealing with because of his actions.
He just wanted to put me in a box, keep it under his bed and live a happier life with his new wife. So what does that make me? I just want some recognition. I want to be known. I do not want to be his secret that he kept in the dark until the day he died.
I want his soon to be bride to know who I am and what he was doing behind her back for all these years. They have been together for like five years but he was not into her as much as she is into him.
So we had an argument about how it is not fair for me to be the only one getting hurt when he and his soon to be bride are going to live a happy life without me, 'his well hidden secret.' The problem is, this 'secret' of his has feelings and I can't stop thinking about revenge.
It's something I'm up against, but I am feeling bad with anger and disappointment all over me and I don't know what to do. It hurts. I want him to take responsibility but he's not willing to do so. He kept on saying that his family will be ruined.
Then how about me? Why am I the sacrifice? Why I am the one feeling hurt when he and everyone else is going to be happy? I don't want to hurt his family or anyone else. I just want him to feel my pain and stop being so ignorant.
But then the good in me arises, telling me to leave everything to karma. But I am in pain right now. I'm mad I'm furious yet I can't do anything about all this.
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