My Husband Gets In A Bad Mood And Won't Stop Raging

by Gilda

Hello. This morning was a tough morning. I woke up and was looking forward to a nice relaxing morning of working from home, and then my husband was in a bad mood. He doesn't like his job and gets in bad moods sometimes.

It has been better for the past month, but came back strong today. I thought his mood would blow over and I would blissfully work from home but it continued, and now I'm distracted and upset.

As he got ready to go to work, he continued to get more and more angry. He says things like, "I might as well end it all today instead of living another 40 years and dying of cancer." He knows it upsets me to hear that language but insists it is kind of a joke and just his sense of humor.

I didn't really respond to his comment this morning. Then he continued to talk about how much he hates his job. It is a familiar pattern, and as he talks, I am trying to stay in my own mind. I don't want to engage, because I can't say anything that is right at this moment.

Then, when I bring out my laptop and begin to work, he comes into the room where I am sitting and proceeds to rant for another 30 minutes (when he should be leaving) telling me that he wants to start his own business and why don't I want to start one with him.

I say this is not the time for this conversation and that I am afraid to go into business on our own. He doesn't care that I don't want to have the conversation and gets louder. He is standing by the door, points at me, curses, and even though I repeatedly ask him to sit, think about how we are having the conversation, he refuses and tells me I'm obfuscating.

He asks for more of my support in doing his work. In my mind I give him plenty. He says that he wants me to be his full time partner and anything less is worthless and he will do everything himself. This type of logic doesn't really make sense but we've been here enough for me to know that there is little I can say.

He isn't really listening to me at this point, and when I try to tell him that I don't want to have the conversation now, he goes on attack mode and tells me I'm just being a baby, among other things.

I feel powerless in these times. I feel a little afraid because his emotion is so intense and I feel scared and ashamed at how he talks to me. I don't know what to do to make it better.

I've asked him to go to therapy for about a year now, he has tried to set up appointments with four doctors but hasn't had any success. I go myself. I am afraid that this will not get better.

He recently bought a book about anger management and has been reading it which has helped a little, but I don't know what to do.

Thanks for your advice,

Gilda