My Angry Husband Blames Me For Everything

by Nicole
(Kentucky)

My husband works long hours and I'm a stay at home mom of 3. My children and I are so happy when he's not home, but as soon as he walks in the door the mood immediately shifts. He's always angry.

He’s angry about work, the house isn't clean enough, we don't have enough money...it's always something. And it's always my fault, so he says. The kids’ rooms are dirty, that's my fault. Their chores aren't done, that's my fault. We're running late for something, that's my fault. We don't have enough money, that's my fault. We have agreed, however, that me working wouldn't help because of the cost of childcare.

And he's not just angry, he takes that anger out on me & tries to pit the kids against me. He puts them in the middle, asking them don't you think what mommy did is stupid? It's mommy's job to make you do your chores or do them herself. And he's even said in the past that my job is to listen to him when he rants & shut up and take it.

I don't have a real job so I just have to deal with whatever rant he throws at me. And he's even convinced me at times that he's right and that is my job. I hang my head like a hurt puppy when he's around because I'm scared to stand up for myself.

Anything I say to defend myself he belittles and makes me sound stupid. He talks to me like I'm a small child. I hate it, and I hate that the kids see it. I don't know what to do.