Losing It All And Still Going On

by Bek
(Sydney, Australia)

Where to start? My Father has just been re-diagnosed with cancer. Several years ago he was diagnosed with bowel & prostate cancer. He subsequently had most of his intestines & other organs removed. This, in layman's terms, meant that his mouth was very closely linked to his rectum (we have to find the humor in this).

Clearly, this solution worked for some time. Unfortunately, my Father was recently sent to hospital suffering from jaundice. It was discovered that this was being caused by a walnut sized cancerous blockage between his pancreas & bile duct. Initially, we were informed this would be operable.


Yesterday I found out that the cancer has actually been found to have spread throughout his pancreas & is inoperable. We are now all in that "land of the lost" while we wait to see what his treatment options & life expectancy might be. He has another Dr's appointment this week.
While we all wait with baited breath for good news, I am a little less optimistic as just 3 weeks ago my Godmother lost the fight with breast cancer & died.

To top all this off, I am an adult survivor of child sexual abuse, from the ages of 2-7. The perpetrator was my eldest brother by 8 years. He died at age 24 of unknown factors & within 2 weeks of my having confronted him about the issue. I was 15 when my brother died & my family fell apart.

I have spent many years dealing with these issues & was finally feeling like I was really getting somewhere & moving forward with my life.
Now, I am feeling considerably overwhelmed! I know I will get through this, but that knowledge doesn't stop the feelings of pain, sadness, guilt & near despair as I know I am in for a long trying period that feels like a multiple grieving experience all at once.

Finally, I am also currently fighting a workers comp. case due to back injury incurred at work. I have been fighting this for almost 18 months now with no resolution yet in sight. My life has changed dramatically in this time with the seemingly endless restrictions my injury has resulted in, i.e. housework, sports activities, etc.

I am not even able to take my georgeous dogs for a walk anymore! All I can do is keep saying the serenity prayer, trusting my spiritual beliefs, & being truly appreciative of my friends & family who are around to help support me! I really hope someone gets something out of this blurb, as it is very personal & not something I would ever before have shared with strangers & the world.

Hang in there everyone, from experience, I can guarantee it will all eventually get better!

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Bek, and thanks for telling your story here. Yours is a valuable contribution, and I think many will benefit from the encouragement you offer. And congratulations to you on what sounds like a challenging but rewarding journey of healing.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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