Grief Over My Husband Breaks Me

by Anu
(Bombay India)

Hi I am Anu, as my husband lovingly called me. I lost my husband a month and a half back and since then have been a total wreck. I just can’t control my bouts of pain and sadness.

We were to move into a new house, just the two of us, and I was really looking forward to this new life in spite of the forced decision on my husband to move out due to certain family issues. The carpenters were still completing the work on the new house, and the all of a sudden my husband passed away.

He was slightly unwell and under treatment but not so unwell. I never expected things to take such a turn and I lost him.

I now had a lot of guilt feelings for all that I did not do for him though he was an alcoholic and sometimes we did have an abusive relationship. But I never wanted him to die.

I am now heartbroken and can’t get a hold of myself. In fact, I miss him a lot and would give away anything to have him back, but yes of course I know he can never comeback.

My heart aches, my eyes cry my whole being is in a mess. I love him, I miss him. How will I live without him. I fail to understand.

Can somebody help me?