Finding Hope

by Teri
(Minneapolis, MN)

My name is Teri. I'm a 40 year old mother of five children. Recently I've discovered that I'm angry about a few things that I've experienced in life, and am still experiencing.

My mother is a Jehovah's Witness and extremely dedicated to her church and has been my whole life. My father was not of her religion but very dedicated to her. He was always pretty accepting of everybody, but he couldn't let her know that for she was so very full of judgment and criticism that she would take his lack of opinion as a personal attack against her.


She was so deeply hurting herself, that she even went as far as to "divide and conquer" her own children. Our relationships with each other were very broken and hurtful. When one of us walked out of the room, she would say hurtful and mean things about our character flaws to the other one; when that one would leave, she'd do it to the next.

Trust was something I had no idea existed. I truly had not experienced it and as I grew older and began to build my own relationships with others, I didn't know how to accept it. I did not believe in hope for the future and the word joy certainly had no meaning.

I became an alcoholic to the extreme which brought to where I am today. I currently reside in a long term treatment facility for women, and I so very much miss my children! While I've been here I've slowly come to understand the importance of an understanding and belief in something/someone bigger than myself.

I've been spending time learning about our heavenly father the way he meant for us to know him. I've come to know why I'm here and he sees me. I finally understand faith and trust and hope for more than this world has to offer!

The most beautiful part is that I don't belong to a religion, I belong to the father. I am wanted and he has never lied to me. I'm still working through my hurt and anger, but now I know I am loved therefore I am able to give love. I have joy even in this life, and I am thankful to be able to give to my children so much more than I had!

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Teri, and thanks for sharing your story here. I am so glad for you that you have found a spiritual path in your healing and recovery. Being able to trust and connect with your joy is a tremendous gift, as you well know. And a strong, loving spiritual connection provides such comfort, peace and stability. I find in my work that people who have a strong spiritual connection do better across the board.

You didn't really ask for help in your story, but I'm going to offer a few ideas, just in case it might be helpful to you.

I suggest you "tell the whole story" of your childhood experiences, and you will find guidelines for doing that on this page, along with other journaling processes that will be helpful to you.

I suggest you also use these imagery processes for emotional healing to address each of your emotionally wounding experiences.

All the best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

P.S. If you found this to be helpful, please consider making a donation to this site to support our mission to help you become your own best anger management resource.

P.P.S. If you got something of value here, we would also greatly appreciate it if you would click the "Like" button at the top left corner of this page.