Been Through Enough

by Kim
(London)

Dear Dr, please help. I don't know who to turn to. I'm 32 years old and as far as I'm aware I've had an anger problem since my 1st relationship. My mum was an alcoholic and my father left me when i was 5. I grew up with a step dad, so I didn't have a life completely without a father.

I found my real father when i was 17 and continued our relationship. My step-dad died 2 yrs ago. My dad died this year on Feb. I get so angry about things that are unnecessary and find it hard to cope with my son who is very demanding, especially when he is unwell.


He whines all day and it's quite soul destroying. It feels like I can just about cope with his high demands when he is well but after 5 days of him being ill, I get so angry that I have more hardship in my life.

My partner will come home and groan, and then I can really blow up!! I say lots of things I don't mean. I love him but sometimes I think life would be better if I was on my own. I don't know what to do. I've been on and off of anti-depressants for the last 3 years and find they help but my personality is dulled. I've not taken them for 3 weeks now.

My boy had an electric shock, and then the measles. I just get so angry at life and then it comes out with those closest to me. I feel like I have no self control and am a let down as a mother and partner. Please help me understand and have some self control.

Regards.

Kim




Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Kim, and thanks for telling your story here. I have a feeling you can get a handle on your anger and start feeling a whole lot better, if you will do the following:

Read this page on the stages of grief, and follow the guidelines there to be sure you have completed your grieving process over the loss of your father and step-dad.

Also do the writing process on this page. Be sure and write in total detail, and keep going until it is all out. For you, it apparent your main issue is abandonment.

Next do the journaling processes on that same page on a daily basis, and when you feel ready, start the positive journaling.

To deal with unresolved past pain in a very direct manner, use these imagery processes for emotional healing. This will really help you.

Believe in yourself, Kim. You can heal and have a good life, if you set your mind to it.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore