I Get Angry All The Time

by Barbara
(Florida)

Hi. Well I don't know what to say. I wasn't like this until a year ago. I use to let things roll off my back, but now it ain't happening.

I threw a knife at my boyfriend and I really give him lots of grief. I am always mad at him, and he doesn't even know why.

I think my last relationship really did this to me. It was a abusive relationship. February 14 will be a year ago that I carried to black eyes. In addition to the physical abuse, he really broke my spirit. The same with the other abusive relationships I have had.

But I held my head up high and it did not get to me. I was the same happy person.

My mom was abusive to me when I was a teenager. I notice now I am angry all the time. I flip with a drop of a hat.


Even at work my manager has pointed it out to me and made a comment that I scare her. She is not the first to say this.

I scare myself. I need help--I know I do. I am miserable. I don't know what to do. I have tried to control myself, but I click real quick.

I am scared I am going to hurt someone. I can get very violent.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Barbara, and thanks for writing your story on this site. It is very good that you are concerned about yourself, and that you don't want to hurt anyone.

I will suggest some things that will definitely help you, if you do exactly as I suggest.

Do all of the exercises on this FAQ page. The first exercise is where you write about your past trauma, such as the abuse by your mother and your previous boyfriends. Be sure and write in complete detail--this is for no one's eyes but yours, and you can destroy what you've written after you're done. Then the second exercise is where you write "from" your anger, getting it all out on paper. This is extremely important, because it gives your anger a place to go, and it gives you a chance to look at it, which will give you more control. Then the third exercise is one where you start looking at the good things in your life, past, present and future. Do the three exercises in order, every day until you start to feel some relief.

At the same time, when you are writing about your past trauma--the abuse that was done to you, you will use imagery processes for emotional healing, which will deal with the emotional pain that has been causing your anger.

You can do this, Barbara. You've got what it takes. You're a good person inside, and that's why you told your story here, trying to get some help to be better. And it's because of the goodness inside you that you don't want to hurt anyone.

Do these exercises, and I promise it will help you. Believe in yourself. And never ever give up on you.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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