He Decided To Break Up And I Still Want Him Beside Me

by Dana
(Jordan)

I know my friend through the Internet, since a year & half. In the first 4 months we were talking on phone, and chatting all the day long. He was getting over a broken relationship ,but he didn't mention it at all.

After 2 months he asked to come to see me in my country, and we were preparing for the meeting. But for financial issues he didn't come to my country.


Meantime, he got sick & went to hospital. He is living alone working in another country. I was talking to him 3 or 4 times a day, and staying wake at night just to be with him in his tough time, talking about how he is feeling, about books, art, and our common friends.

While he was in the hospital, he asked me if I loved him and I answered that I do, because I am in love with him from the second month.

But he didn't tell me anything. I supposed that by what he asked that he loved me too.

After he left the hospital, he went back to his work and by time he started to get busy, his calls got less. I was the initiator of the calls and the sms, asking about his health and his news.

For the first 5 months he was dealing with me as his best close friend. He his past with me, but after these months I started to feel that he is close to another 3 or 4 girls. He started going out with a girl in the country he is living in, and got involved with relationships on the Internet, and every time I know I feel jealous and I told him what I feel.

He was saying that there's no need to feel jealous, because talking to girls is a normal thing, and besides, I am the closer one.

After 8 months in our relationship, he told me that he doesn't feel what I feel, and we should break it off, stop the calling and the chatting and this is the best for me.

I was shocked. But after his call, I disappeared for one week. Then I called him, and he was missing me and feeling sorry because of what I feel.

But he still insists to break everything off, and he suggested to stay friends. Since that time we are fighting on the phone once a week, then we stop talking, then we talk again.

He is older than me by 14 years, and I feel that he used me before to get over his pain. I know he is honest and a good person and because of that I excuse him for what he did.

But now, I can't get over him. I still try to call and sms and send mail to him.

I want to stop all this, and feel happiness again.

I want to forget him.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Dana, and thanks for telling your story here. You are not alone with your problem. Many people have trouble letting go after a relationship has ended. For that reason, I have written several web pages on this site to help foiks just like you.

Here is the page I recommend for you: letting go of a relationship.

It would also be good for you to work on improving your self esteem. These self esteem CD programs will help you feel good about yourself and take good care of yourself.

Make up your mind, Dana, to create a good and happy life for yourself.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore