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January 15, 2013
Healing Anger Newsletter, Issue #056
Soothe The Savage Beast
Take Ownership Of Your Anger
Contents of this newsletter
What's new on the web site?
Two new web pages! Learn about the
="_blank">Signs Of Infidelity, in case you're facing this type of concern. I hope you're not, but if you are, this page will help you get clear and stay clear during a challenging time in your relationship. If you've already experienced infidelity, you will benefit greatly from our page on
Overcoming Infidelity.
New visitor-contributed pages, such as
From Mr. Right To Mr. Do Me Wrong and a touching story called,
I Should Never Have Been Born, by a woman in the UK who is struggling to find meaning and value in her life while trying to better control her anger.
Check Out Our Facebook Page! It gives you all of the latest updates from Dr. DeFoore and visitors like you. To follow us on Facebook, just go to
Anger Management Resource by Dr. William DeFoore and click on "Like" at the top of the page--or,
follow us on Twitter!
Visit Goodfinding.com, Dr. DeFoore's other web site. Find lots of positive, upbeat perspectives to help you with your anger management, and sign up for the
Goodfinding Newsletter. You can read the
current issue of Goodfinding here.
How Did The Beast Get Savage?
The "beast" we're talking about here is your anger. You may not think of it as savage, but if you're having anger outbursts, depression or just ongoing frustration, then your anger is primitive and out of control. That's what I mean by "savage beast."
Whether you think of your anger as a savage beast or not, you'll benefit by reading about how anger becomes like an out of control tiger, either damaging your relationships or chewing away at your insides:
- Your anger was not accepted, guided or allowed to mature into a healthy emotion (focus, determination and courage).
- Anger is strong--so it did not go away, even though it was not embraced, guided and accepted. It became unconscious, which allowed it to operate without the guidance of your good heart, your conscience and your spiritual values.
- So, every time you feel threatened, hurt or afraid, this primitive, unconscious part of your animal nature is activated.
- But it (your anger) just can't get any satisfaction, because unhealthy anger just doesn't work.
- And that's why it gets so savage...it wants to protect you (that's the purpose of anger), but it just ends up making things worse most of the time. So it becomes more and more wild with frustration.
I think you get the idea. Put any animal (and yes, as human beings we have an animal nature) in a situation where they cannot get the safety and satisfaction they want, and they will become angry, out of control or just depressed.
So, let's look at some ways that you can soothe the savage beast of your anger.
How Can I Soothe My Anger?
The "animal" part of our human nature wants safety, comfort and nourishment. But because we are also human, our needs are much greater than that.
We also need love, pleasure, entertainment, fulfillment and a sense of purpose in life. Let's look at some steps you can take now toward "soothing the savage beast" on an ongoing basis:
- First, become aware of your basic emotional needs, and which ones were (and are) unmet.
- Make a list of ways that you are currently trying to meet these needs, and identify what's working and what's not working.
- Read about self love and self esteem, to learn about some ways that you can begin to meet these needs for yourself in a healthy way.
- All of these anger management techniques are designed to soothe your anger. Like any tools, the more you use them, the more you will benefit.
- As a matter of fact, everything on this web site is designed to help you soothe the savage beast of your anger. That's one of the reasons I talk about "your good heart." The beast is not bad, it's just your inner protector that has been operating unconsciously, without the benefit of your brilliant conscious mind.
Hopefully, this will get you on the road toward feeling calmer, more secure and more generally "soothed."
You have a lot more power than you realize to create the feelings you want to have, and therefore to create your own "reality." At the heart of the savage beast is a child...keep reading to learn how to soothe the beast by nurturing this child.
This audio CD program, also available for download as an MP3 file to play on your computer, iPod or other MP3 player, will help you learn to soothe your anger by understanding and healing the wounded child within the protective "beast" of your anger.
P.S. Why not make the rest of your life the best of your life? You can get started right now with Elegant Aging: Growing Deeper, Stronger and Wiser.
P.P.S. Did you know that I offer telephone (including Skype video phone) counseling around the world? That's right, from the comfort of your home, you can get professional counseling from me, Dr. William DeFoore. Contact us now to schedule a session!
Next Issue
Honoring Your Internal Protector
Let me hear from you!
Comments? Ideas? Feedback? I'd love to hear from you. Just reply to this ezine and tell me what you think! If you have ideas for future Healing Anger Newsletter issues, I'm open to considering them. Here is your opportunity to get involved--I might even include your comments, story or link in a future issue of this ezine.
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Thanks for being here!
William G. DeFoore
Disclosure: William DeFoore is an authorized affiliate of Legacy Publishing Company, A.J. Novick Group, Inc.,
Think Right Now International, Inc., SiteSell, Inc. and the Institute of HeartMath.