It's A Matter Of Respect

Your greatest emotional need is to love and be loved. And boundaries are all about love.

You can't have love without respect. Respect is the foundation on which love stands, therefore, understanding and respecting personal boundaries is key to creating and allowing love.

Consider these points about respect:

• No human being is the property of another human being...even children. Every being is sovereign in their own domain, and worthy of respect just because of their humanity.


• In many ways, respect is about honoring the physical, emotional and mental space of another person. All forms of abuse, for example, represent a disrespectful violation of boundaries.


• Allowing others to have different viewpoints, emotions and preferences, for example, is a matter of respecting their mental and emotional boundaries.


• And when it comes to sexual boundaries, no human being has the right to touch another human being sexually without their clear, unequivocal permission.


• Respect for physical boundaries is a very touchy (get it?) subject. And, this requires a clear and healthy intuitive sense on your part, which we'll discuss further in the next section.

In order to respect another person, you have to respect yourself. Generally, we tend to treat other people in ways that reflect how we feel about ourselves.

In other words, if you have low self esteem, or even anger toward yourself, it will be very hard for you to respect the boundaries of others.

There is an old saying, "As within, so without." That means that whatever is going on inside you will be reflected in how you treat the world around you.

Think of the kindest, and most consistently respectful people you know. You'll probably find that they also have a great deal of respect for themselves.

Grow Your Respect With Daily Goodfinding Quotes

Respecting the boundaries of others is about creating a feeling of safety in your presence. This will make it easier for them to love you.

Another word that comes to mind here is dignity. Whether you think of it often or not, I assure you that your dignity is very important to you. And respecting boundaries of those around you will most definitely add to your dignity as a person.

How To Read Nonverbal Cues From Others

Respecting the boundaries of others is not an exact science, and for some people it can be very challenging. Sometimes...it's like drawing a line in the sand.

It's a matter of paying very close attention, and being able to interpret what you see and sense about the comfort or discomfort of another person. The four components of Emotional Intelligence come to mind here...they are self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management.

You can't have good social awareness without self awareness, and you can't successfully manage your relationships unless you can successfully manage your own emotions.

Here are some important points to consider on how to accurately read the nonverbal signals of others:

• Eye contact is key. A person's eyes will give you a lot of information about how they're feeling, and then your gut feeling (intuition) will guide you from there.


• Notice whether they seem relaxed or tense. People will automatically tense up when you get close to or cross a boundary. You know you're doing well if they seem very relaxed and at ease in your presence.


• Your own intuitive sense is your best guide, and for that to work well for you, you have to be in alignment with your very best self.


• Notice the breathing of the other person. Does their breathing seem deep and relaxed, or is it shallow, rapid or erratic? This again tells you how comfortable they are with what you're saying, how close you're standing, and what kind of emotion you're expressing.

The best thing you can do to improve in this area is to get to know yourself at the deepest level possible. There is no substitute for self-awareness and self-love.

You have deep inner wisdom that you are probably not tapping into as much as you could. There is tremendous value inside you!