The Healing Anger Newsletter brings you a refreshing, helpful and upbeat approach to anger management and how it can work for you in every aspect of your life. Here is your chance to keep up with my (Dr. DeFoore here) latest discoveries and insights on anger management and how you can heal the anger in yourself, your family, your school and your workplace.

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• What's New on AngerManagementResource.com?
• How Anger Interferes With Communication
• What People Really Want To Hear From You
• Goodfinding

Most people just don't want to hear your anger, or what you're angry about. Why is that?

It's because most (unhealthy) anger is just complaining. If you're really honest with yourself, you will probably admit that you don't want to hear anybody complain, so why would they want to hear you? The only time somebody might want to hear your anger is if it fuels their own anger, which doesn't do you any good.

Let's look at how this works:

• Anger is a protective emotion, that arises when you feel threatened or opposed.


• So anger is objection, complaint, push back or plan of attack.


• Because it arises when there is a threat or perceived threat, you might say anger is a "pushing away" emotion, designed to create distance between you and others.


• If we agree that the purpose of communication is to create a bridge, a connection that fosters understanding and the exchange of information, then it's clear that unhealthy anger simply does not serve the purpose of communication.

So why do people try so often to communicate with anger? Good question!

It is simply out of frustration and a sense of helplessness, or the belief that "they won't hear me any other way."

Anger comes out of the emotions of fear and pain, and it's supposed to solve a problem...yet it often only makes the problem worse.

If the other person's not looking for someone to jump on their anger bandwagon, they really don't want to hear about your anger.

People are by nature smart, good, and problem solvers, as hard as that might be to believe sometimes...it's true.

So, what they want to hear from you is:

• Humor. Most people like hearing a good joke, or a funny quip at nobody's expense.


• Some interesting new information you've found about how somebody is making the world a better place with technology, kindness or innovation.


• Solutions you've discovered to some problem you've been working on, especially if it's a solution the listener might be able to use.


• People also like to hear supportive, encouraging statements about themselves.

You're too smart and healthy to go around complaining and being angry. Start focusing on what is good, right and working in your life, and you'll see things starting to get better...if you stick with it.

Become a problem solver and a Goodfinder, and you'll find people much more interested in what you have to say, and good communications will grow in all of your relationships.

This audio CD/download program will teach you how to focus on and expand the goodness inside and all around you.

Gratitude, appreciation and optimism are just smart and healthy, for you and your relationships.

P.S. Why not make the rest of your life the best of your life? You can get started right now with Elegant Aging: Growing Deeper, Stronger and Wiser.

P.P.S. Did you know that I offer telephone (including Skype video phone) counseling around the world? That's right, from the comfort of your home, you can get professional counseling from me, Dr. William DeFoore. Contact us now to schedule a session!